Day 19 - 40-Day Bikram Challenge - Losing Battle

Pardon me for repeating myself but how I just said very recently that its incredible how quickly the fortunes can change in Bikrams from good class to bad, to bad health from good and upside down. Poses you were great at you become terrible at seemingly instantaneously.

Now I have likely heard on at least half the days I have gone to Yoga, discussion afterward about how today was the hottest class ever. I have no doubt the temperature varies from day-to-day and class-to-class even. But today was different (you can trust me). It was the hottest class ever. Really. From the water break on, I had to push myself through. And I have been through nearly 20 days straight at this point. I have been there days where I did not feel good, but that feeling of despair, of wanting to quit never came so early and so strongly as today.

If I had to bet, I would say the heat was left on and kept heating up till the break at least. And it was not just me that noticed this, there were more people laying down in class than I had seen since Tanya did a Thursday night class a few weeks ago. Some very skilled and experienced yoga'ers laying on their backs for dead, while hearing gasping for air and heavy breathing between poses elsewhere. A large group for sure, a warmer day for sure as well, but something went with the temperature gauge today.

This became very real for me in Camel pose. I knew I was struggling but I did not realize how much. After I got up from savasana, and tried to move to the first part of the posture up on my knees, as soon as I attempted to lean back I felt so dizzy that I lost my balance and fell forward for a split second. I caught myself but it was really a shock as I have never had that happen before. I rested in savasana, then got up and attempted it again. And the same thing happened: I nearly fainted. I can hear all those people who question why I dont have water during my practice saying I was not hydrated enough, and I can say I ate fine for lunch and drank a lot during the day so I do not think that was it. Apparently moving from savasana to that pose quickly can make you dizzy, plus the heat and plus a little lack of hydration in my body too.

Lesson: It happens. To everyone. Speaking with an instructor afterward, they commented that more than once they wanted to put their head down that day. And that the important thing to do is either start the posture or rest in savasana, not to sit their hanging your head - it drains more energy you do not have:).

So I end today, bitter and beaten and still fighting a lot of negative voice in my head. Not unlike this loud, but great video from Atlas called Battles.