Day 21 - 40-day Bikram Challenge - Don't Call it a Comeback

Ideally I would post Feeling Good (by Nina Simone, Muse or anyone else who has covered the song) but I have already used that. So I'll have to find something else in the next 10 minutes or so.

I hate Jay Leno and I had forgotten about my love affair with the keyboard player in the Shout Out Louds.

Day 20 - 40-day Bikram Challenge - Half Way

After yesterday's debacle/disaster or whatever you want to call it, today was a small step to getting back on track. I managed to at least start the session with a better attitude, which always help. What likely helps more is a slightly more moderated room temperature. I looked it up, official Bikram approved temprature is 105F with 40% humidity. No idea what either of these really mean but that is what it is supposed to be. How often, and how much it varies I am not sure.

Anyways today was positive. An average session in the grand scheme of things but a tremendous success considering I had thoughts, not terribly serious, about calling the whole thing off 24 hours ago. Whenever these thoughts occur I am always reminded that the best thing to do is listen to the instructor - which usually means look straight ahead, breath slowly and calmly and all will be good.

Lesson of the day: In Balancing Stick Pose lately I have had a hard time staying in the posture on either side. Something the instructor said today, well they likely say it everyday, caught my attention. And that was to be looking 4 feet out in front of me. I found that this helps me to get into the pose much easier which is important as its a relatively short pose (10 seconds or so). My only issue is that I now am over-rotating on my top half and having to touch down on the ground to remain balanced. However this is a huge step up from where I was in this pose a week ago. And the balancing series, unlike all the others really are the yardstick (right or more likely wrongly) that I measure the success of individual classes by.


So I am half way and that is worth celebrating for sure. I have been searching for a Blur video to post and that fits the mood of the day, but have not been able to turn up anything yet (Song 2 .. really). First heard in Italy at LIUC in my room in Castellanza nearly 10 years ago:) Gorillaz Feel Good Inc.

Day 19 - 40-Day Bikram Challenge - Losing Battle

Pardon me for repeating myself but how I just said very recently that its incredible how quickly the fortunes can change in Bikrams from good class to bad, to bad health from good and upside down. Poses you were great at you become terrible at seemingly instantaneously.

Now I have likely heard on at least half the days I have gone to Yoga, discussion afterward about how today was the hottest class ever. I have no doubt the temperature varies from day-to-day and class-to-class even. But today was different (you can trust me). It was the hottest class ever. Really. From the water break on, I had to push myself through. And I have been through nearly 20 days straight at this point. I have been there days where I did not feel good, but that feeling of despair, of wanting to quit never came so early and so strongly as today.

If I had to bet, I would say the heat was left on and kept heating up till the break at least. And it was not just me that noticed this, there were more people laying down in class than I had seen since Tanya did a Thursday night class a few weeks ago. Some very skilled and experienced yoga'ers laying on their backs for dead, while hearing gasping for air and heavy breathing between poses elsewhere. A large group for sure, a warmer day for sure as well, but something went with the temperature gauge today.

This became very real for me in Camel pose. I knew I was struggling but I did not realize how much. After I got up from savasana, and tried to move to the first part of the posture up on my knees, as soon as I attempted to lean back I felt so dizzy that I lost my balance and fell forward for a split second. I caught myself but it was really a shock as I have never had that happen before. I rested in savasana, then got up and attempted it again. And the same thing happened: I nearly fainted. I can hear all those people who question why I dont have water during my practice saying I was not hydrated enough, and I can say I ate fine for lunch and drank a lot during the day so I do not think that was it. Apparently moving from savasana to that pose quickly can make you dizzy, plus the heat and plus a little lack of hydration in my body too.

Lesson: It happens. To everyone. Speaking with an instructor afterward, they commented that more than once they wanted to put their head down that day. And that the important thing to do is either start the posture or rest in savasana, not to sit their hanging your head - it drains more energy you do not have:).

So I end today, bitter and beaten and still fighting a lot of negative voice in my head. Not unlike this loud, but great video from Atlas called Battles.

Day 18 - 40-day Bikram Challenge - Loud Pipes

The difference 24 hours makes sometimes is shocking. From two or three subpar classes in a row to a truly excellent class, and maybe the best class ever. I stayed in nearly every single one of the standing poses, even my left which is always far more difficult for me. And when things are going good you can not help but smile a little during the session. And when things start good, you get some of that positive energy the instructors often talk about. I tend to view each pose really as a seperate event but, you can see that good pose runs into good pose sometimes. Perhaps its not just chance.

Really more than anything its focus, Good focus on my knees, being able to see them in the mirror regardless of the class being full or empty hot or cold, and good consistent breathing really does make all the difference it would seem. The floor series was not quite as good, my lower back is still giving me some issues but I pushed as much as I could.

No real session today, cause I would hate to pick just one part. But basically I found myself talking to myself in class, I am sure that's not the focus Bikram would like but I was feel so oddly positive it just started. And more than once I was cheering myself on. So a very uplifting song Ratatat with Loud Pipes. Credit to Colm McDermott for introducing me to these cats who got a little better known from the movie Knocked Up.

Day 17 - 40-day Bikram Challenge - Way Down

Not just a familiar phrase at Yoga. Though more appropriate to say way back. As in lift back, look back, go back, way back, fall back. But, at least for today, it describes my mood and attitude at yoga this morning. Simply put I was in a terrible mood. Negativity coming out of every pore of my body, likely infecting those on the mats near me. I am sure that that 6am start time had something to do with it.

Though I push through. I have lots of space in the room, always good for me. And a clear view of myself in the mirror. And in the end I get through. So if there is a lesson in what was otherwise a not very good class its that focussing on breathing is always the best way to keep pushing through a session you really are not into. One post turns to the next, you stay calmer, some of the negativity goes away and before you know you are done.

Day 16 - 40-day Bikram Challenge - Still Life

Not rock bottom but getting close. Lower back marginally better, whatever a small part of marginally is. Frustrating class. Likely my favourite instructor and he gave me a few shout outs. One on bow pose which isnt my worst posture. But I got the shout out while standing on my right leg which is almost always, regardless of the pose, my worst side.

The bigger surprise is the shout out for Rabbit Pose. As this what posture 24 of 26 and at this point it is all I can do keep myself from quitting getting a shout out on this is uncommon. In addition I am often struggling so much to hold my towel and keep from running over the top of my head, that I typically fall out of this position. But today I was still with a  little focus at the end of the session

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Lesson of the day: Also likely fits best here. I realize that I had been putting a lot of weight on my head for this pose. Moving the weight to my knees instead make the grip easier and the posture easier overall.

Today was really another frustrating day. Lots of negativity energy unfortunately. But I am hoping tomorrow will be better.

Day 15 - 40-day Bikram Challenge -

Ugh. As good as yesterday was, today was a bit of a step backwards. Class was led by the most demanding instructor. This isnt a bad thing, as I realize how hard she makes you work. And the focus on simple things like stretching tall all the time in-between poses is a great point. I suppose that was the lesson of the day. Arms tall, stretching to the roof, elbows pressed against the head, no space between the arms and ears.

And when I do that, the practice becomes instantly a lot harder, but more beneficial. I was also corrected in my posture of a few forms. I am sure I am still doing pretty well all the poses wrong but some more than others. Triangle Pose I still have never really figured out where my bottom arm should be going. I know I am stretching up but really not getting a ton from this pose.

So I suppose lesson of the day is that there are a lot of benefits to just keeping your arms before, during and after poses. Something that has benefits on basically every pose. That's not bad.

I dont mind this instructor, she would be ideal every few days and I am sure her posture clinic would be great. But damn that is one hard, hard session